In what sociologists are describing as “a completely understandable and genuinely rational response to the current news environment,” a significant and growing portion of the American population confirmed this week that they have reached their information processing limit and have decided, collectively and without coordination, to watch the third season of a cooking competition show instead of engaging with current events.
“There’s a war, the gas costs what now, Congress is doing something with surveillance, and apparently we’re fighting China about rocks,” said Melissa Crane, 38, of Tempe, Arizona, who has not opened a news app in six days and reports feeling “significantly better, genuinely, like medically.” “I know I should care. I do care. I’m just caring from a horizontal position with the TV on.”
Mental health professionals report a measurable uptick in what clinicians call “news avoidance behavior,” which is distinct from being uninformed and is more accurately described as “the coping strategy of a person who is very informed and has decided that’s enough for now, thank you.”
Streaming platforms have noted record engagement in the past fortnight, with particular spikes in feel-good content, competitive baking, and nature documentaries — specifically any episode of any show that features baby animals doing well, which algorithm data confirms is the single most effective antidote to reading about oil futures.
News organizations, for their part, continue to publish, because the events are happening whether anyone is watching or not, which is perhaps the most clarifying and also the most exhausting thing about journalism. Meanwhile, somewhere in Tempe, Arizona, Melissa Crane is watching someone correctly temper chocolate, and for fourteen minutes, everything is fine.
Leave a Reply