The Defense Department announced partnerships with eight AI companies on Friday, warmly welcoming everyone except the safety-focused firm that had…
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Satirical News & Parody Headlines — Funny Takes on Real Events
Tech Satire
Satirical tech stories and parody headlines from Globe News Daily.
Pentagon Signs AI Deal With 7 Big Tech Firms; Anthropic Not Invited for Being ‘Too Safe’
SpaceX, OpenAI, Google, and Microsoft all agreed to work with the military on classified AI networks. Anthropic wanted safety guardrails.…
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Pentagon Bans AI Company for Being Too Polite, Signs Deals With Less Conscientious Robots
The Department of Defense signed AI contracts with seven major tech firms while blacklisting one company whose AI kept suggesting…
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Pentagon Signs AI Deals With 7 Tech Companies, Immediately Wonders If It Should Have Asked The AI First
The Pentagon has signed classified AI agreements with seven leading tech firms, marking the largest expansion of AI into national…
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U.S. And China Race For Critical Minerals; Geologists Suddenly The Most Important People At Any Party
The intensifying global competition for rare earth elements and critical minerals has transformed the formerly obscure field of economic geology…
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AI Replacing White-Collar Jobs; White-Collar Workers Calmly Update LinkedIn While Having Mild Ongoing Crisis
A new wave of AI-driven workforce disruption is reshaping white-collar industries across the globe, with major firms in finance, law,…
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NASA’s Mars Rover Now Navigated by AI That Completed the Mission but Also Had a Few Follow-Up Questions
Perseverance covered 456 meters in its first fully AI-planned drives, though the system did ask mission scientists three times whether…
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Meta Raises VR Headset Prices So AI Can Have the Chips, Which Is Exactly the Trade-Off You Wanted
Meta is raising Quest headset prices due to AI-driven chip shortages. The metaverse, we are assured, is still happening. The…
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OpenAI Eyes Wall Street IPO, Promises Investors It Won’t Become Sentient Until After the Lockup Period
OpenAI has surpassed $25 billion in revenue and is eyeing an IPO. The prospectus reportedly lists "sentience" as a risk…
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AI Now Passes 50% of Humanity’s Last Exam, Humanity Unsure Whether to Be Impressed or Terrified
The world's most advanced AI models have crossed the 50% threshold on 'Humanity's Last Exam,' outperforming the average human score…
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