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Americans Spend Record $16.73 Trillion While Simultaneously Complaining About $4.45 Gas, Economists Baffled
Consumer spending hit an all-time high in Q1 2026. Inflation jumped to 3.5%. Gas is nearly five dollars a gallon.…
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Spirit Airlines Ceases Operations; Passengers Report Feeling ‘A Complicated Mix of Grief and Statistical Relief’
The low-cost carrier has shut down, leaving millions of budget travelers to mourn the loss of an airline they complained…
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‘Fibermaxxing’ Declared the New Protein: America’s Guts Issue a Collective Sigh of Relief
Health experts say fiber is the new protein. Protein bars are taking this personally. Gas station bathrooms are bracing for…
Read MoreNASA Finds Water Everywhere in Space; Scientists Optimistic, Earth’s Drought Crisis ‘Completely Unrelated’
The SPHEREx telescope has confirmed water ice is abundant across the galaxy. The good news is it's out there. The…
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Met Gala 2026: ‘Fashion Is Art’ Theme Leaves Guests Unsure Whether They Are Wearing Clothes or Having an Experience
Celebrities arrived at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in ensembles that raised profound philosophical questions. Zendaya was reportedly at home…
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Kentucky Derby Won by 23-1 Long Shot Trained by First Woman Ever; Horses Reportedly ‘Stunned’
Golden Tempo romped from dead last to victory under trainer Cherie DeVaux, making history while an entire horse racing establishment…
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Pentagon Signs AI Deal With 7 Big Tech Firms; Anthropic Not Invited for Being ‘Too Safe’
SpaceX, OpenAI, Google, and Microsoft all agreed to work with the military on classified AI networks. Anthropic wanted safety guardrails.…
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U.S. Navy Announces It Will ‘Escort’ Ships Through Strait of Hormuz, Assures Everyone This Is Totally Fine
Officials stress that sending warships into an active war zone to babysit oil tankers is 'a gesture of friendship.' Gas…
Read MoreTiramisu Wedding Cakes Are Trending, Couples Now Legally Required to Have Opinions About Espresso
Social media has officially declared the tiramisu wedding cake the hottest trend of 2026, leaving couples who just wanted a…
Read MoreFitness Experts Announce Revolutionary Discovery: You Can Exercise for Seven Minutes and Call It a Day
In what researchers are calling the breakthrough America has been waiting for, wellness professionals have confirmed that snack-sized workouts are…
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