Meta is raising Quest headset prices due to AI-driven chip shortages. The metaverse, we are assured, is still happening. The…
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Meta Raises VR Headset Prices So AI Can Have the Chips, Which Is Exactly the Trade-Off You Wanted
Michael Jackson Biopic Starring His Nephew Arrives April 24, Asks Audience to Hold All Questions Until the Credits
The long-awaited Michael Jackson biopic opens this week, starring the pop star's nephew in the title role. The film promises…
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“Fibermaxxing” Is the Wellness Trend That Will Make You More Regular in Every Sense of the Word
The hottest wellness trend of 2026 is eating the recommended daily amount of fiber, a goal nutritionists have recommended for…
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Coachella 2026 Fashion Report Confirms That Wearing Less Fabric Is Still, Somehow, A Trend
Fashion analysts have returned from Coachella 2026 with extensive notes. The dominant finding: micro shorts, crochet, sheer, and fringe are…
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Boston Marathon Champion Shatters Course Record, Credits “Running Faster” As Primary Strategy
Defending champion John Korir won the Boston Marathon in record time Monday. When asked how, he explained that he ran…
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NASA Astronauts Return From Historic Moon Trip, Immediately Ask If They Can Expense the Mileage
The Artemis II crew has splashed down safely after traveling farther from Earth than any humans in history. They have…
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OpenAI Eyes Wall Street IPO, Promises Investors It Won’t Become Sentient Until After the Lockup Period
OpenAI has surpassed $25 billion in revenue and is eyeing an IPO. The prospectus reportedly lists "sentience" as a risk…
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U.S. Navy Blockades Iranian Strait, Asks Iran To “Please Allow 3–5 Business Days For Geopolitical Resolution”
The United States Navy has established a military blockade of the Strait of Hormuz. Markets are alarmed. Cable news is…
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America Breaks Millionaire Record; Millions More Celebrate by Carefully Dividing a Single Avocado Toast
The number of American millionaires has hit an all-time record high, a development economists describe as 'historic' and which will…
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Coachella 2026 Fashion Experts: You Need Less Fabric and More Crochet Than Previously Understood
Fashion reporters have emerged from Coachella 2026 with sunburn, two terabytes of photos, and one unified conclusion: the human body…
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