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TRUMP POSTS PICTURE OF HIMSELF AS JESUS, DELETES IT, POSTS IT AGAIN — CYCLE REPEATS UNTIL AMERICA GIVES UP

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what social media historians are already calling the most chaotic 72-hour stretch in recent memory, President Trump on Sunday posted an AI-generated image depicting himself with a glowing halo and flowing robes, deleted it following widespread backlash, re-posted it with the caption “just a fun image, very beautiful,” deleted it again, and has since re-posted it a third time with the caption “THE FAKE NEWS DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SEE THIS.”

Religious leaders across the spectrum expressed concern. The Vatican issued a statement urging reflection and humility. Evangelical supporters, meanwhile, called the image accurate.

“I’ve been in politics for 40 years,” said one unnamed senator. “I have never seen a sitting president repeatedly post a picture of themselves as the Son of God and I genuinely don’t know what to do with that information.”

White House communications staff reportedly spent the weekend refreshing their own LinkedIn profiles.

When asked whether the image was appropriate, Trump responded: “Look, a lot of people are saying it. A lot of very smart people. They come up to me with tears in their eyes — big strong men — and they say, ‘Sir, you do look a little bit like Jesus.’ And I just say, ‘Thank you, I know.'”

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