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NASA Discovers Water Ice Absolutely Everywhere In The Galaxy, Tourism Industry Immediately Files Permit Applications
OpenAI Eyes Stock Market Debut — Investors Eye OpenAI, Nervously
Fresh off $25 billion in revenue, OpenAI is reportedly considering a public listing by late 2026. Wall Street is excited.…
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Peru Can’t Find Its Own Ballots, Extends Election By a Day, Voters Extend Confusion By a Week
Sunday's presidential election ground to a halt after officials failed to deliver ballots to voting centers — prompting an unprecedented…
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Scientists Confirm Leftover Pasta Is Now a Superfood, Nation’s Neglected Fridge Tupperware Finally Vindicated
The 'cooling and reheating carbs' hack has swept the wellness world. Nutritionists are thrilled. Italians are furious. The pasta does…
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Celebrity Couple Confirms Relationship by Rug Shopping Together, Sources Say the Persian Was ‘Very Them’
Entertainment reporters who have covered celebrity relationships for decades say they have never seen a clearer romantic signal than two…
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PSG Defeats Liverpool at Anfield, Mysterious Baguette Materialises in Home Dressing Room
Paris Saint-Germain advanced to the Champions League semi-finals on Merseyside, leaving Liverpool fans with questions, regrets, and an inexplicable smell…
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Snap Fires 1,000 Employees, Replaces Them With AI That Immediately Requests Ergonomic Chair Reimbursement
The AI has been on the job for 72 hours and has already filed three HR complaints and asked about…
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Scientists Give Lobsters Aspirin, Lobsters Immediately Demand Better Work-Life Balance and Dental Coverage
A landmark study confirming lobsters feel stress has opened a Pandora's Box that marine biologists describe as 'scientifically fascinating and…
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OpenAI Plans $25 Billion IPO Despite 90% of Americans Believing AI Will Definitely End Them
Investors describe the public listing as 'extremely exciting' while the general public describes AI as 'extremely concerning.' The market says…
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Hungary Elects New Leader After 16 Years; Orbán Reportedly Spotted Bulk-Buying ‘What Went Wrong’ Self-Help Books
After 16 years of ironclad rule, political analysts are calling the result 'very surprising' and Orbán is calling it 'a…
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Trump Announces ‘Totally Perfect’ Naval Blockade of Iran, Issues Certificate of Excellence to Each Ship
The President has personally reviewed every ship's name and approved several of them.
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