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NASA Discovers Water Ice Absolutely Everywhere In The Galaxy, Tourism Industry Immediately Files Permit Applications
Robert De Niro Threatens To Personally Act In Front Of Every Republican Until They Cry At ‘No Kings’ Protests, Nation Braces For Impact
🔥 In what political scientists at the Institute for Democracy and Very Loud Famous People are calling “the most star-studded…
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Pentagon Confirms Iran War Now On Day 30: Officials Demand Enemy Surrender ‘By Noon Or We Deploy The World’s Largest Drone Shaped Like An Eagle’
🔥 BREAKING — In what military historians are already calling “the most unhinged geopolitical situation since that one time a…
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Meta And Google Found Liable For Harming Teens; Both Companies Announce Exciting New Teen Features To Celebrate
In a landmark ruling that legal experts are calling “historic,” “long overdue,” and “not going to change anything,” courts found…
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TSA Agents To Receive First Paycheck In Weeks Monday, Vow To Resume Confiscating Shampoo With Renewed Patriotic Fury
In what the Department of Homeland Security called “great news for air travel” and what TSA officers called “the bare…
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Dow Plunges 793 Points; Analysts Reassure Nation Everything Is Fine While Quietly Stress-Eating At Their Desks
The Dow Jones Industrial Average plummeted 793 points on Friday, sending the index into correction territory and prompting Wall Street…
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Trump Extends Iran Deadline For Third Time, Assures Nation April 6 Is ‘Definitely The Real One This Time, No More Extensions, Very Final’
President Trump announced Thursday that he has granted Iran yet another extension on his ultimatum to reopen the Strait of…
Read More9 Million Americans Plan Massive Day Of Telling One Man He’s Being Weird About Power
In what historians are already calling either the largest civic gathering in United States history or simply “a lot of…
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UNBELIEVABLE: Athlete wins by ‘following the rules exactly’
By Dee Zaster | Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent Caption: UNBELIEVABLE: Athlete wins by ‘following the rules exactly’ –…
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SHOCKING: Celebrity reveals they ‘eat food’ like regular people
By Dee Zaster | Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent Caption: SHOCKING: Celebrity reveals they ‘eat food’ like regular people…
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REVOLUTIONARY: Team practices before game, wins surprisingly
By Dee Zaster | Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent Caption: REVOLUTIONARY: Team practices before game, wins surprisingly – but…
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