⛳ The 2026 Masters entered its second round Friday as world No. 1 golfer Scottie Scheffler arrived at Augusta National alongside his newborn son Remy, who at just nine days old has already logged more Augusta green time than most professionals manage in a lifetime. According to a new report from the Institute for Precocious Athletic Achievement, Remy is statistically the youngest Augusta attendee since 1936, when a caddy accidentally brought his infant nephew instead of a sand wedge. 🏌️
😂 Defending champion Rory McIlroy, who won last year’s Masters in what commentators called “the kind of thing that makes grown men cry into their Sunday beverages,” arrived this week attempting the absolutely unthinkable: winning it again. Meanwhile, Scheffler’s chief competitive weapon appears to be “dad energy,” which golf analysts say is worth 1.2 strokes per round. The crowd reportedly wept openly on the first tee. 🟢
🤯 CBS legend Jim Nantz, assigned to broadcast, is expected to describe Remy’s Augusta debut in hushed reverent tones that will cause approximately 47 million people to lose control of their emotions simultaneously. Augusta officials confirmed the baby received a complimentary patron badge but will not be permitted to drive the course shuttle. 🎙️
💬 Scheffler was asked about competitive pressure. “Remy slept through my back nine practice round,” he told reporters. “I chose to take that as confidence rather than disinterest. My caddy disagrees. We are currently in mediation.” ⛳👶🏆
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