By Dee Zaster | Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent
Caption: New phone feature solves problems nobody had – but funnier!
The latest smartphone update includes ‘Ambient Background Sighing’ – your phone now audibly sighs when you open boring apps. Early reviews: ‘It gets me.’ ‘My phone finally understands my pain.’ The company says it’s ’empathetic technology.’ Critics call it ‘depressing but accurate.’
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Disclosure: These are affiliate links. If you buy something, we might earn a small commission to fund more hilarious journalism. The satire remains free!
Disclaimer: This article is 100% satire. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental. Probably.
About the Author: Dee Zaster is Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent. When not turning real news into comedy gold, she enjoys confusing politicians with logic and watching news anchors try not to laugh.
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