HOLLYWOOD, CA — After nearly two decades of fans asking, threatening, and at one point formally petitioning the Library of Congress, Disney has confirmed that The Devil Wears Prada 2 is officially happening, with Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep returning to their iconic roles in what sources describe as “a reunion the fashion world demands” and what the rest of us are calling “deeply welcome news during an otherwise chaotic spring.”
The sequel, set to hit theaters May 1, reunites Andrea Sachs and Miranda Priestly in what early plot details suggest involves Andrea returning to the orbit of the world’s most exquisitely terrifying magazine editor — a development that has prompted critics to ask whether Andrea has learned nothing, and fans to respond that they don’t care and would like to see Meryl Streep be imperious for two hours immediately.
“Miranda Priestly doesn’t change,” Meryl Streep reportedly said at CinemaCon, delivering the line with exactly the tone of someone who has just told their assistant to get out of their sight. The audience gave a standing ovation. A journalist in the third row reportedly burst into tears from pure cinematic anticipation.
Anne Hathaway confirmed that Andrea has “grown considerably since we last saw her” and has, at long last, mastered the coffee order. Industry insiders noted that if the sequel doesn’t include at least one scene of someone sprinting through Midtown Manhattan with a book of fabric swatches, they will be filing a formal complaint with the Screen Actors Guild.
“We are not doing this for nostalgia,” said the film’s director in a statement that sounded extremely nostalgic. “This is a story about power, identity, and what it means to be a woman in a world that constantly underestimates you.” She then described three scenes that are essentially the same as the original film but with different shoes.
Fashion brands have already begun partnering with the production on a promotional campaign expected to include a limited-edition handbag costing approximately $4,800 and described in press materials as “accessible luxury for every woman.”
Early tracking suggests the film will open to $90 million domestically, with an additional $200 million in goodwill from people who have simply always wanted to see Miranda Priestly return and are not thinking too hard about whether the sequel is strictly necessary.
Critics who have seen early footage describe it as “surprisingly sharp,” “very funny,” and “making us feel things we weren’t prepared to feel about a fictional fashion magazine editor, again.” Several admitted they had rehearsed their review in a mirror before writing it, which they attributed to the Streep Effect.
Miranda Priestly, through her fictional publicist, had no comment. That’s all.
Globe News Daily Editorial Note: Our fashion correspondent watched the original film seven times this week in preparation for this article. We consider this journalism. She is currently unreachable and believed to be selecting an outfit.
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