🍓 A single Japanese strawberry now retails for up to $50 per berry at U.S. specialty grocers, and the waitlist for the Omakase Berry Experience in Manhattan is currently longer than the list for a kidney transplant. 💸 According to the Institute for Foods That Have Simply Gone Too Far, Japanese strawberries surged 28% year-over-year with 87 million social media posts celebrating a fruit that blind taste tests found indistinguishable from a $2 grocery store strawberry. The only difference, experts noted, was the intentions.
😂 The berries arrive swaddled in individual silk pillows with a certificate of authenticity and a QR code linking to each berry’s emotional origin story. Sommelier Chad Worthington III recently paired one with a $400 glass of wine and called the experience transcendent — three diners cried, one cited texture. 🎌 Sales of luxury single-berry experiences are up 340% since January, driven entirely by people with too much disposable income and not enough chaos in their lives.
🤯 The craze has spawned strawberry-scented candles at $89, essence water at $22 per 100ml infused with the energy of a strawberry that has never been touched, and an NFT collection that sold out in 4 minutes generating $2.3 million for a man who refuses to show his face. 🍓✨ A Brooklyn restaurant now charges $175 for a tasting menu whose centerpiece is half a Japanese strawberry resting on a single grain of Himalayan pink salt. Yelp reviews are exclusively five stars because anyone who paid $175 for half a strawberry is psychologically incapable of admitting it was a mistake.
💬 A fierce backlash is led by Italian nonnas who have grown better strawberries for free in their backyards since 1962. Meanwhile Nutella Peanut hits shelves in April and food critics are ignoring it entirely because it has no emotional origin story. The Japanese strawberry does not just taste like something, said an unnamed food influencer with 4 million followers who charges $40,000 per post. It tastes like the concept of tasting something. Police were not called but perhaps should have been. 🇮🇹
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