By Dee Zaster | Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent
Caption: SHOCKING: Celebrity reveals they ‘eat food’ like regular people – but funnier!
In a groundbreaking interview, a famous actor admitted to consuming nutrients through their mouth. ‘Sometimes I even chew,’ they confessed. The revelation has sent shockwaves through Hollywood. ‘I thought they photosynthesized,’ said one fan. Nutritionists are calling it ‘revolutionary if true.’ The celebrity’s publicist clarified: ‘Only organic food. Obviously.’
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Disclosure: These are affiliate links. If you buy something, we might earn a small commission to fund more hilarious journalism. The satire remains free!
Disclaimer: This article is 100% satire. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental. Probably.
About the Author: Dee Zaster is Globe News Daily’s Satirical News Correspondent. When not turning real news into comedy gold, she enjoys confusing politicians with logic and watching news anchors try not to laugh.
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