In a landmark ruling that legal experts are calling “historic,” “long overdue,” and “not going to change anything,” courts found Meta and Google liable for knowingly causing harm to young people through their platforms. The companies responded to the verdicts with a combination of carefully worded statements expressing deep concern for user wellbeing and, separately, a combined $40 billion in new product announcements specifically targeting the 13-17 demographic.
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg issued a statement saying the company “takes the mental health of young people extremely seriously” and reiterated the platform’s commitment to teen safety, which he said would be reflected in new features including an algorithm that shows teenagers exactly which of their friends are having more fun than they are, but slightly faster. “We’re really listening,” Zuckerberg said, from inside a bunker in Hawaii where he has been training in jiu-jitsu and avoiding congressional subpoenas.
Google similarly pledged to “do better” while simultaneously filing paperwork to expand YouTube Shorts’ recommendation engine to begin targeting users as young as eight, describing the move as “a proactive investment in tomorrow’s digital citizens.” Lawyers for the plaintiffs noted this was happening in real time during the press conference and asked if anyone else found that odd. Nobody commented.
Congressional leaders promised swift action on new legislation within the next several years, possibly. In the meantime, an unnamed teenager reached for comment said only: “I’ve been on TikTok for six hours and my thumbs are numb. This is fine.”
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